How Does She Do It?

Anne Travis-Barker: Foster Mother and 4-Star Neighbor

- Janet Pelz

If Neighbor had a rank, Anne Travis-Barker would be a General. Four star.

There is nothing militaristic to her calling. Rather, it is rooted in her Christian beliefs, and stirred with real world understanding and lots and lots of love.

Ms. Anne’s neighborhood is wherever she is at the moment – her south Seattle seven bedroom home which she fills with children; the back corner of a modest building nearby which is active with evening AA meetings, mentoring sessions for young women, Church service on Sunday and any other needs her community might have on all other days of the year. Her neighborhood travels with her from the local bus stop, where she asserts her responsibility to break up a fight, to the poorest places in southern Mississippi and even when she goes on vacation.

“If someone is in need I’ve got to help. My kids say ‘one day you’re going to get yourself killed’,” she recounts, throwing her head back laughing, but her expression soon becomes serious. “You have to be a citizen, you can’t just look the other way. I saw this guy beating a woman, right on Cherry Street and nobody was stopping to help her!,” says Ms. Anne incredulously. “So I headed straight for him and I told the lady, get in the car! I drove her to Swedish Hospital and I asked her, what are you doing? You don’t have to live like that.” Pride and self worth are among the gifts Ms. Anne shares both with strangers on the street and with children in her home.

A strong Christian, Ms. Anne quotes scripture at a pace that would make a cattle auctioneer envious. “In the Book of Mark, chapter 12, Jesus is asked which of the Ten Commandments is most important and he answers number 1: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength; and number 2: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself,” she says, reciting the latter with an emphasis on every word. “Now, there are a lot of people who aren’t too happy with that one because they think that what is theirs should stay theirs.” Ms. Anne, on the other hand, is of the mind that most anything of hers can be shared with someone who needs it.

I met Ms. Anne in her “office” at the back of a non-descript building in Seattle’s Rainier Valley. No sign identifies its purpose but it’s clear that anyone who needs to come here doesn’t need a sign to tell them what it is. Ms. Anne emerges from behind a makeshift office divider moving slowly and deliberately, but her face displays no pain, just radiant joy. A young man quietly and efficiently helps seat her in a stacking chair, and unfolds a table for me to set my laptop on before bringing out a cup of coffee for me and Ms. Anne’s preferred ginger tea.

Anne Travis Barker also refers to the Bible to explain her view of the special role women play in society. “In the Bible it says the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. But then it says that God fashioned woman to be his help-mate,” she says, arching her eyebrow with a knowing look. That word, ‘fashioned’ suggests to Anne, that God’s creation of woman was more intentional, as if He were considering what He had forgotten in the first attempt.

“God gave us something very special – the emotional side of Him; He gave us a different way to see outside of just strength, outside of just logic. He gave women a spirit of influence that He didn’t give to man. That influence is doing something for the better. Barbara Bush once said something, ‘we who rock the cradle rule the nation’. Women can make the world a better place. I really believe it starts with us.”

I met Anne through the Mockingbird Society, a local organization working to improve the foster care system. Understanding the effort involved in raising my own children, I wanted to interview someone who was helping raise others. And as with so many of my interviews, I found that the reason that drew me to Ms. Anne was just a slice of what was remarkable about her. In fact, it wasn’t until she had generously shared more than an hour with me that the topic of foster care was ever broached. Before that I got to learn about all the other good work that keeps her up until late at night and rising before 5 in the morning.

“Once a year I take a southern tour and drive to Louisiana or Mississippi – I went to New Orleans after Katrina. We pack up a van with bedding, housewares, kids clothes – whatever I can get, and we just start driving.” Her journey takes her down the country roads of some of the poorest places in this country. “If I see a bad conditioned place, I stop and ask, is there anything we can do for you?

“Once when we were in Mississippi I heard this racket, my, but it was loud. I turned around to find out where the noise was coming from and I saw this little boy pushing the frame of a rusty bicycle,” she says, her beautifully manicured hands providing accompaniment. “It had no wheels, but he was pushing it up the road as if he were riding it. I asked him where he lived and he led us to this house and introduced us to his mother. We told her we came from Seattle to offer help. We went in her house. She was very embarrassed because the place was just horrible – I mean you just could not imagine living in there. And I said, we have several men here with us and they fixed the roof, and we got the kids new bedding, and gave them our last rug. We spent all day with them. Then I asked, was there anything else she needed? The woman said ‘no’ but the little boy stepped forward and said he wanted a bike. So, we called Walmart and arranged for all the kids to have new bikes. But the family had no way of getting to Walmart, so we hired a cab to drive the bikes out to the house. Sometimes it takes a while, but we do everything we can!”

Normally on these southern marathons Anne is joined by 4 – 8 others in the 15-passenger van. “I’m always happy to have people come along, but I tell them, it’s a rough trip. We’re not staying in fancy hotels. Sometimes we’re sleeping in the van. We’re going to work, not to vacation.”

Though even vacations have turned to work for Ms. Anne. “I was in San Diego on vacation with my kids, and I thought, let’s go over to Mexico. And I know it was just the hand of God we ended up in this place. I heard all this crying, and I said to my kids, let’s go over there and check it out. I’m nosy!”, she says, giggling. “And we see these kids, and they are just horribly filthy. They were crying and looked like they weren’t eating well. Well, I learned that the place was an orphanage without much money. The place looked like it needed a good scrubbing. My kids said, ‘mom, we’re on vacation!’ And I said, not today. Today you’re working.

“So we cleaned that place top to bottom. We went across the border and bought every diaper we could buy from K Mart and went back the next day. We brought clothes. And I asked, how much would it cost per month to help support these kids? And I took on seven.” For the last 10 years, Ms. Anne has been sending boxes to this Mexican orphanage. In April, she’ll be going back there again. “I want them to know that I’m not just a sender. I’m going to follow-up.”

                  Anne and her children at the orphanage in Mexico

About four years ago, Ms. Anne got some help creating a non-profit structure to the work she was doing on her own. The organization is called Hand and Hand. “It’s about helping your neighbor and your neighbor is anybody who needs help.” With a 501(c)(3) she can solicit contributions from local businesses (and individuals). She’ll call the hotels to get sample soaps and hygiene supplies. Target has made contributions, and Pepsi, who has a bottling plant nearby, often supplies beverages and the volunteers to distribute them. She’ll package things up and put a label on the bag that credits the company who donated them. “I want people to know that there are many people helping them.”

And then, as she was preparing to do the next morning, she’ll distribute them.

Doing so isn’t as easy as placing a piece of candy in a Trick or Treat bag. On this Saturday a week before Christmas, Ms. Anne was preparing to feed the homeless under the freeway in downtown Seattle the next morning -- starting at 5 a.m. That’s when she’ll get the chili and coffee going so she can offer warm food and drink to people who have been sleeping in doorways that December night. She has gathered up gloves and hats and scarves, soaps and shampoos. She and the other volunteers will serve under the overpass and then, “we’ll target doorways. We drive down First Avenue and if we see someone who wasn’t able to make it to the feeding we’ll stop the van. I’ve done this enough so I know how to do it right. You can’t just walk up on someone in a doorway because they might have mental health issues. So instead, we just open the van and invite them over. We have hot chili because they need something filling – they may not have eaten the night before.”

Ms. Anne (foreground above) and volunteer crew preparing for street feeding

That was the first item on her to-do list for Saturday. The second, following at 11 a.m. was a holiday party she was organizing for not just her own foster kids, but all the others in the homes that along with hers make up the network for which Ms. Anne serves as the Hub Home. She is at the center of a structure that the Mockingbird Society has pioneered, its intent to support both the kids and the parents who take them in. In her role as the Hub Home, Ms. Anne not only raises her own foster kids, but she serves as a resource and mentor for the other families, and she always keeps two beds open at her house just in case she needs to take in a child for crisis respite care. In anticipation of the holiday party tomorrow, Ms. Anne has been busy trying to secure donated gifts for all the kids, but she has found this year a particularly difficult one. She sadly contemplated the possibility of many disappointed faces.

So, finally we made it to the topic of foster kids, though when I used that term, Ms. Anne quickly corrected me. “These aren’t foster kids, they are my kids. I tell them when they are in my home, they cannot refer to themselves as adopted kids or foster kids. Don’t label yourself like that!” she pauses a moment to shake her head in sadness. “I don’t like that stigma. If they say that to me, then they’ll say that at school, they’ll start to think of themselves like that.”

                           Anne Travis Barker with a few of her kids

The topic of foster care elicits the fighter in Ms. Anne, who has taken in children for more than 25 years. “Trust me, I do it because of the children, not because of the system. It’s a system that needs changing,” says Anne sitting up straight and looking in my eyes with conviction, “and I plan to be one person to make it change!” It’s a reason she strongly supports the Mockingbird Society “because they are trying to make it better.”

Her frustration stems from the fact that the system has lost its compass – it no longer points to the kids who are in need of help, but to the adults who manage it. According to Ms. Anne, they have more concern for their own careers than for the kids they are supposed to be serving. “You have all these people who are promotionally motivated, but they’re not children motivated.”

She illustrates her frustration with stories of kids she knows who have been shuffled from home to home with no recognition of the need for family stability or the child’s special issues. Throughout her stories, there are frequent mentions of her kids. Now, I know she has two kids of her own (“I had a hard time having kids – I lost a lot of them. I had two but I always wanted 12 children.”), so I stopped her to ask, just how many kids have you fostered?

For the first time in our interview, Ms. Anne is quiet. “How many?” she asks herself, as if disbelieving such a question could exist. “Oh my lord I couldn’t even begin to count.” She bows her head, leaning it against one hand while the fingers of the other move quickly in succession. The quiet continues and I see her lips move slightly. Finally, she looks up and says, “well, if you don’t count those who came for just respite care, say all the kids who have been with me for 90 days or more, I don’t know, maybe 60?”

60 children. Not for a hotel stay, but for parental support, guidance, doctor’s appointments, mental health evaluations, school lunches, teenage parties, college applications, and love.

Within that number there is sadness. “Jamaal was killed on Memorial Day in a car accident. My other son was hit by a drunk driver; my littlest boy developed cancer; I have a daughter that had uterine cancer….” her list continues. But there are the bright spots as well – the daughter she has had for 10 years is getting ready to start community college. “She wants to be a pediatrician.”

For each of these kids and all the others she touches, Anne strives to find the unique value within them. “That’s why we got so involved in Northwest Junior Orchestra – that’s a way out for some of these kids. We have a boy who has had some real problems, but he’s an excellent musician. We tell him, you’re not a dummy, you’ve got talent.

“We expose these kids to the world outside this neighborhood; we help them discover beauty. We go to the Nutcracker every year, we expose them to new things – let’s go to Jefferson Park and see the beautiful trees and learn to play golf -- we were able to get a young man into golf, he loves it, and he earned his own golf set.”

Seeing crime as a frequent result of dropping out of school, she started Way Out Tutoring in her building on Thursday nights. Two teachers, an elementary teacher and a Garfield High School teacher donate their time and she gets money for school supplies from the City.

“And for each of these kids I don’t have to worry about him robbing me some day; I don’t have to worry about him attacking me someday. Folks have got to understand, if you don’t make a change, you’re going to face these people at some point.” When you do face them, figures Ms. Anne, it’s a whole lot better if they’re on the right path.

Some times Ms. Anne does have the chance to see the people she has touched in the past. “This young man came by here and he said, you put your arms around me and I couldn’t believe it. And he said, what should I do now? And I said, you put your arms around the next man and it all gets better.”

That’s what Ms. Anne did with me. At the end of this wonderful conversation, more than once having felt blessed to have shared the time with someone who, but for this web site, I would have never met, Ms. Anne folded me in her arms with a hug every bit as warm as those she undoubtedly delivered to 60 or more kids.

And I put my arms around you.

If you would like to support the work done by Ms. Anne and Hand to Hand, she eagerly welcomes more helpers, to solicit and pick-up donations, assist with the early morning feedings, pack hygiene bags.

And she could really use some help setting up a simple web site that might help inform people of what she needs help with and when. If you have skills in that area, leave a comment below and I’ll try to hook you up.

Meanwhile, financial contributions can be mailed to: Hand and Hand, PO Box 28177 Seattle, WA 98118

Ms. Anne’s not-so secrets for How She Does It:

• “I was married for nearly 30 years and granted the highest position in the world – Motherhood. I believe it is though my children that the journey of life really started – consider just for a moment, that there is a little person who is counting on you for everything. One day I really thought about this – the power of making the world, the place I live, other people’s lives better by what I did or didn’t do with my little person. I finally put a name to this revelation – it’s called the power of One.
• “Sometimes life can get overwhelming with problems, injustice, bad laws – these things don’t get corrected because of the lawyer, senator or other groups. It is my feeling that if each of us do all we can do – everything gets better. The power of One starts and ends with you and me.”
• She works at having balance in her life. “We feed on the street, we have a party for foster kids, but I need to go get my nails done! I get to take a steam bath and I’m not taking my phone. These are my Anne Times – I think I’m better person when I take time for me.”
• Anne’s mother has been a huge influence in her life. Though they were poor growing up, “we always had somebody live with us, she always did things for other people. My mom always pressed us to become educated. She would tell us, ‘I don’t want you to ever carry anything heavier than a pencil -- that’s the heaviest thing I want you to lift in life. Sit at a desk and earn a living.’ They knew the fields.”
• “I’m not perfect. It’s something I tell the girls I mentor. Obesity is an issue. It’s one of those health problems that hits our community hard: obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, breast and prostate cancer. I’m learning to eat more healthy even when I’m eating Black food.” Removing the pre-frying of collard greens and eating carrot cake made without sugar are two recent revelations to her.
• She doesn’t like talking about herself, claiming that her good deeds are only possible because of the people who work with her. “Everybody wants to be famous -- why? They’re glory seekers and I never want that. I just want life to be better for everybody and I think that can happen. I want justice, I want it to be right.
• “I’m not as organized as I want to be. I do a calendar for a whole year and I don’t let too many things disrupt that calendar. Sometimes I examine myself, did I miss something? I try to keep my eye on the priority and let everything adjust.
• “I can go two or three days and not really sleep.”

 

What books has Ms. Anne read recently?

• Re-reading The Shack, by William P. Young. A father tries to unravel the murder of his daughter after he receives a suspicious note, apparently from God. “It shows his journey. I feel like I’m on a journey.”
• Shopgirl by Steve Martin. “You have to read things that stimulate you and keep you grounded.”
• “And of course, I read my Bible, because it keeps me grounded. Especially the Proverbs -- you gotta have that remembrance.”

Whom does Ms. Anne want me to interview next?

• Pam, who started NW junior orchestra. “Out of nothing she has gone to people and gotten new instruments, gotten musicians to donate their time; she even has her grandkids teaching. She has helped a lot of kids stay out of trouble through music.”

What ahead for Anne Travis-Barker?

• She’s really into Egyptian history -- her next adventure is to travel to Egypt
• She has a long list of certificates and diplomas, including a PhD in Theology. The next thing she wants to learn? Glass blowing.
• She’s working to buy a new place that will have space in it to do the things she currently does, but that can also provide a meal and a bed for the homeless each night.

One Year, 25 Amazing Women and 13,000 Page Hits Later…

 

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It was one year ago that I launched How Does She Do It? promising prospective readers:

“You’ll be inspired by the extraordinary and ordinary life stories of women in the Seattle area.

Each week I’ll interview a single mom, elite athlete, artist, or community volunteer; women who have arrived at their destination or women in transition – about who they are now and what choices they made to get to this point.

I’ll ask these women to tell who has made a fundamental impact on their lives, and what resources they turn to for support. And I’ll ask, whom should I interview next? We’ll start a thread that could weave throughout the region, and we’ll follow it wherever it takes us.”

  With the first story about my mother Kelly Pelz I’ve gone on to write about 24 other women, ranging in age from 13 – 99, women involved in the arts, sports, non profit organizations and business; women making an impact in this country and around the globe.

In the process I’ve also had my eyes opened to the power of the web to connect us. Google provides more information than I can use, but here are some of the more impressive statistics:

• Since I posted my first story, I’ve had more than 13,000 page hits. When I started writing, I was excited to see the number of readers rise by 25 with a new story. Now I regularly get between 30 – 60 hits on the days I don’t even post from people who have Googled something and seen my page on their results page.
• My biggest single day was 328 hits about Lacey Evans, captain of the Rat City Roller Girls. By way of update – you’ll recall she was planning a kickball game at her wedding to determine the couple’s new last name. The groom won, and Lacey is now Lacey Ramon.
• 85% or so of my readers in any month are new to the site. These are people who might be looking to read about a specific person I’ve profiled, or they may be looking for information on a topic like raising children as a single mom, living with ALS, or owning and operating a restaurant.
• Through Google searches I’ve been found by readers on every continent. A reader in Kenya read about Trish Dziko’s efforts to educate children of color. Someone in Venezuela read about Marla Smith-Nilson’s organization Water First and their efforts to bring clean drinking water to the poorest parts of the planet. Readers from European and Asian countries regularly visit my site.
• Without question the story that is most often Googled is the one I wrote in two parts about the young violin virtuoso Simone Porter and her mother. Simone’s high profile as an international performing artist has inspired a lot of interest. (She got a nice acknowledgment for her performance with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, the concert she was preparing for when I interviewed her).
• Sometimes another web site directs their readers to me. There was the time when the website Feministe picked up my story about Joanie Warner, who has been living with breast cancer for 17 years and her daughter Abby, who was organizing a rock concert as part of a high school project to raise money to eradicate the disease. I saw a spike in readership from that link, including one woman who was an old friend of Joanie’s from North Carolina. The two friends found each other through my web site and are once again in each other’s lives.
• 70 of you currently subscribe to the site – thank you for your vote of confidence! If you don’t do so yet but like the idea of each new story showing up in your inbox when I post, just fill in the white box in the upper right hand column where it says “enter your email address here” and hit the “subscribe” button. No cost, no obligation even to read, but it’s there if you want to. Likewise, if you prefer not to receive my regular emails notifying you of the new story, please don’t hesitate to ask to be taken off the list. I know how email overload can become an issue.

While most women eventually agree to be interviewed, almost all of them start with the disclaimer that they aren’t interesting enough to merit a story. A few have turned me down, including one woman I greatly wanted to interview who sent me this:

“I do wish I could say I'm enjoying my time as a full-time teacher with the Seattle Public Schools, but that's sadly not the case. Rather, I feel thwarted at every turn. It seems to me that creative people are not wanted in the public schools. I don't believe I can continue as a public school teacher.

“Due to my present lack of inspiration, both for teaching and writing – teaching has taken all the time and energy I had for writing – I'm afraid I'll have to decline Janet's gracious invitation for an interview at this time. I wish I were in a better place to provide inspiration for other women.”

Heartbreaking.

Although I get wonderful kudos about the stories I write featuring other women, I don’t feel as successful in trying to establish the site as a place for readers to connect with each other. My other goal in starting was this:

“So, how do you do it?

Is your secret as basic as a crock pot or as meaningful as the words Aunt Lola whispered to you on your wedding day? What gets you up on a rainy morning and sustains you through one more meeting, rehearsal, breast feeding, burnt casserole, proposal deadline, or arrival of the Great Hormonal Onslaught?

I’ll open up topics and ask you to weigh in.

We’ll learn from each other, share our secrets, and promote the people, organizations, books – even kitchen gadgets -- that add value to our lives.”

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The times I’ve put out a question for your response I’ve been met with deafening, well, silence, which makes me think, either I’m asking the wrong questions or you don’t have an interest talking to each other through the milieu of a web site.  Consequently, I’ve become reluctant to try.

Likewise, the comment function of the site doesn’t get much use. My hope is that the site could grow into something more like a book club than a text message – something that inspires conversation rather than tweets.

All of this represents the growing pains, the adjustment period.  You can help me with your ideas by clicking here to take a survey.

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And finally to the business side of this project. I spend between 10 – 20 hours a week on the site, arranging and attending interviews, writing and posting stories and trying to master the technical aspects of blogging. As compensation, I’ve made about $94 in advertising and referral sales. I thank the person who ordered a camera on Amazon by clicking from my site -- that grossed me a whopping $16! If you want to help support this project, you can do your Amazon (and affiliated sites) shopping by clicking their ad on my site. I’ll get a percentage of your sales as a referral fee at no cost to you. Similarly, if you just click on any site ad, you’ll earn me a few pennies even if you never make a purchase.

Obviously, I don’t have the business model to make this a financial success, but I definitely feel as if I’m building something of value in writing these stories. I’m looking for other ways to share them (a book, perhaps?). If you have any ideas, I hope you’ll send them along.

If you have a few minutes, I’d appreciate your responses to a brief 10-question survey. Click here to take survey. I’d love your ideas for how to make the site a more valuable place for you to spend some of your time each week.

I can’t thank you enough for your support.

- Janet Pelz

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Events to Consider

As How Does She Do It? readers you might be interested in supporting a couple events coming up in the Seattle area.

October 19: Preview the film “I Know a Woman Like That,” a documentary film that features some amazing older women, including Maxine Hong Kingston, Rita Moreno, Gloria Steinem, Lauren Hutton, Eartha Kitt, and other not-so famous women, including a 92 year-old ballroom dancer and yoga instructor and a 90 something year-old water skier.   Maxine Hong Kingston and the filmmaker will be on a panel moderated by Mayumi Tsutakawa following the film.

Broadway Performance Hall, 5:30 - 9:00. Your $50 contribution supports Kawabe House and Senior Services

For reservations, click here.

 

And another:

Water First International, the organization started by Marla Smith-Nilson (featured on this site May, 2010) is preparing for its 6th annual Give Water • Give Life Benefit, their premier fundraising event of the year. More than 700 people will gather in support of people in need of clean water in India, Bangladesh, Honduras, and Ethiopia. Last year’s event raised a record $510,000 for sustainable water supply, sanitation, and health-education projects. I went last year and was overwhelmed by the great work this organization is doing. I’ll be there again, enthusiastically supporting their efforts. Hope to see you!

DATE & TIME: Saturday, November 13, at 6:00 pm

LOCATION: Washington State Convention & Trade Center, Seattle

Enjoy a cocktail reception, live music, and a unique silent auction, followed by a dinner and a Water 1st presentation and film featuring current and future Water 1st project beneficiaries.  There are no tickets for this event. Suggested minimum donation is $150/person.

- Janet Pelz

 

And a follow-up on the story about Meg Tremblay

I thought you might enjoy reading about her typical day living in Zambia (read her full story about her Peace Corps experience here)

5 am: Morning run

6 am: Haul water from well and take a quick cold bucket bath outside in my bathing shelter, which was just a little structure made of straw without a roof. Usually I had a big pot or plastic tub filled with water and a big cup to pour the water over myself.

Quick breakfast, usually bananas or mangoes depending on the season, maybe some buns and coffee made the night before. I usually wouldn't make a fire in the morning to try to save coal/time etc. I would try to shop about once a week when I went into the town to do work there. I'd buy onions, tomatoes, greens, beans, bananas, or oranges, sometimes sweet potatoes, eggplants, watermelon or avocados when they were in season, and when I needed it, toilet paper, soap, candles, washing powder.  Once every two months I'd get some other supplies (salt, spices, powdered milk, flour, coffee, etc.) from the actual store in the provincial capital and haul them back to Katete then bike them out to my village.

8 am: Biking the 10km into the town to work with the Network of Zambians Living Positively or the 3km to the clinic where I would meet up with clinic staff and then bike out to one of the villages to meet with the Neighborhood Health Committee members and do maternal and child health outreach.  This might including weighing babies, the nurse giving shots or tending to the sick. We'd also do health education talks while we had so much of the community there on things like condom usage, malaria prevention, what to do if one gets diarrhea, good nutrition, etc.

1pm: We'd be done with the work and I'd grab a quick bite with the clinic staff and Neighborhood Health Committee members. The community would sometimes make us the traditional Zambia dish of nshima, which is a flour ground from corn and then mixed with water until it starts to get harder, then it is used to pick up and eat other foods like cabbage or beans or rape (dark green).  Then back on the bike to another one of my villages for a meeting or training or working on one of our projects (for example the school in my village of Malata or the well we built in another one of the villages).

5-6 pm: Back to my house and greeted by the kids. Draw more water from the well and then  play with the kids, basketball, soccer, jumping rope or drawing, etc. While the kids are hanging out at the house, gather twigs and straw, put coals in my brazier and light the fire. It takes sometimes 15 minutes or longer to get the fire going. Once the coals catch I would swing the brazier to get the coals hot and to get the fire to spread. Then I'd usually put a big pot on the fire to heat bath water.

6 pm: Cut up some greens or beans or whatever else I'm having for dinner (the kids are still hanging/playing at my house during this time), take the bath water off the fire and put on the food. The adults that were in the fields all day start to arrive back to the village so sometimes they would come by to sit and chat or I'd help my friend Rhodah with her school work or she'd help me with my chichewa.

7 pm: Try to get the kids home and take a warm bucket bath outside, often after dark depending on the time of year. This was always one of my favorite moments because I was tired and the warm water felt like such a luxury.  The village settles down and I can hear families talking around fires and drumming. Often I’d be bathing under the stars. Then eat dinner.

7:30 pm: Prepare materials for whatever I'm doing the next day.

8-9 pm: Read, paint, draw, write letters etc.

8:30-9 pm: Bed time.

Meg’s village at night

Meg Tremblay: Finding a Second Home through the Peace Corps

Before we even start, Meg Tremblay and I have reason to laugh at the irony of where she is today compared to where she lived just months ago. When I set out my iPhone to record our conversation she’s as surprised to learn it has that capability as I was when a 17 year-old pointed it out to me. “I missed out on that whole smart phone explosion,” confesses Meg, the only person I know under the age of 30 who could admit to that. “I could have used it for net distribution.”

I’m thinking she’s referring to yet another aspect of online marketing until she explains that no, she’s talking about handing out real nets, like the ones used to prevent the spread of malaria. Two worlds, juxtaposing yet coinciding, in the young woman I’m about to interview….

When Meg Tremblay’s fellow graduates were tuning up their resumes for Monster.com, searching the want ads for an apartment to rent or packing their bags for law school, Meg was waiting to learn what far corner of the world would be her home for the next two years. An interest in working abroad that budded in her first year at Lewis and Clark College, a school that attracted Meg mostly for the rowing program but then captured her with its strong international relations program, had her turning to the Peace Corps for her first post-college experience.

“I took a middle east policy class from a really great professor who had worked for the Shah of Iran. He became my advisor. He encouraged us to not just make this a classroom thing but a lifetime commitment. It made me want to work abroad and learn more about the things he was talking about, and the Peace Corps was the only option that I wouldn’t have to pay for and where I would really live in local communities.”

Though Africa had been a siren call through her undergraduate years, friends had convinced her that a posting in the Middle East or Southeast Asia would be more comfortable. She was getting a lot of advice back then, most of it suggesting she forego the Peace Corps for a more lucrative and shorter job experience in the States. “My mom was the only one who encouraged me to do it,” says Meg looking back. A young woman with a sense of purpose on display throughout our conversation, Meg needed just one voice added to the one that spoke so strongly within her.

As it turned out, neither the Middle East nor Southeast Asia had opportunities for her. Instead it was the tiny country of Zambia in southern Africa that was written on the letter that finally arrived from the Peace Corps in December. Meg scurried to a map to see just where it was.

“Fate has a funny way of working out. I ended up where I was supposed to be.”

Also in the letter was a brief description of her posting. She’d be living in a mud hut. She’d have miles to walk to get from one place to another.

“It’s the best thing I’ve ever done, but it was quite a leap when I did it.”

Soon, she was flying off to Zambia’s capital city Lusaka. “Once in country, you have three months of training -- six hours a day of instruction in the Nyanja language and three additional hours each day of technical training” learning to become a community health worker.

When the training was over, Meg set off for her new home in Katete about 400 km from Lusaka, at the meeting of the Mozambique Road and the Great East Road that leads to Malawi.

(Meg’s hut, bathing and cooking shelters)

Home for Meg was a mud hut. No electricity to read by, no running water to bathe with, no stove for cooking. She was to work with Neighborhood Health Committees (NHC) from seven different villages which she traveled to on her bicycle, training them “in health issues, like maternal and child health, malaria, tuberculosis, malnutrition, HIV, and in other things, like business skills.” Each month she would meet with the Health Center Committee, which included two representatives from each village. Together they would share issues and concerns of their respective villages and talk about possible solutions.

(inside seating area of Meg’s hut)

“By the time I finished my training I could communicate in Nyanja, although the local Chichewe dialect was a little difficult.” It was important to Meg that she learn the local language, and knowing it became a badge of honor. “I wanted to spend my time with Zambians – that’s why I was there. All the health presentations I did in local language. Some volunteers get a translator, but you never know exactly how you’re being translated.”

The Peace Corps places three ‘generations’ of volunteers, each serving a two year-term and building on the efforts of his or her predecessors. “One of the things I absolutely love about the Peace Corps is that they really promote incremental and sustainable change. My NHC had already been trained -- I feel really lucky because it allowed me to work with them on bigger issues.”

For Meg, one of those “bigger issues” became her signature accomplishment. In their NHC meetings, the villagers complained of the lack of schools for local children. “In Zambia, kids don’t start going to school until age 8 or 9 and by the time they reach that age, often the schools are full and kids postpone for another year or more until they can finally get in. There is nothing like Kindergarten that can prepare the younger children.” The NHC wanted to build a pre-school, but the cost was overwhelming.

Meg helped the villagers write a proposal to build a community school and a chicken house that could generate income necessary to pay a teacher’s salary. Taking advantage of the Peace Corps Partnership program, she posted a proposal online to solicit donations for the money required -- $2,000 – to build the new school.

“While we were waiting for the money we started making the bricks. It was very physical labor, going down to the river to gather sand to mix with the cement. Working alongside people, they learn that you care about them. This was one of the most important lessons I learned. You can make things happen if you put in the work.”

Meg’s friends and family here in the States sent in contributions, and before long, the NHC had the funds to see their idea take shape.

(right: mixing sand to make bricks for school; below: building the school)

 

Eight months later, the school was finished. “It’s a one room building made of brick; windows made of glass; a chalkboard and a tin roof. The books and bookshelves were donated. We started out without desks – we just had mats for the kid to sit on. The first teacher taught before the chicken house was built, working for free as an investment in the community.”

 

 

(Kids learning in the new school)

Meg barely had time to celebrate the opening of the school when the accident happened.

“I was riding my bike back from work when I got t-boned by a drunk motorcyclist. I was thrown in the air and landed on the cement road on my back.”

Her medical training tuned to the danger of moving someone with a possible back injury had her objecting, unsuccessfully, when some villagers picked her up and threw her in the back of a truck insisting she go to the hospital. The fact she could have become a paraplegic doesn’t seem to phase her now.

“They took me to the local hospital that didn’t have x-rays at the time. Then the Peace Corps brought me to the capital city to do another x-ray, but I had to wait until they found someone who could read it.” Finally, someone told Meg he didn’t see anything specific but acknowledged the technology there was antiquated.

“So they sent me to the big hospital in South Africa and they told me, ‘you’ve broken your back in two different places. We’re going to be sending you home’. Being stubborn I said there’s no way I’m going home. I don’t do well with people telling me I can’t do things – it just makes me want to do it more.”

The way Meg saw it, it wasn’t time for her to go. The school had just opened and they still had the chicken house to build. “It was my home. I wanted to figure out what we could do to allow me to stay.”

Fortunately for Meg, her South African doctor was willing to help her recover without surgery. “He fit me with a back brace and told me I needed to stay there for two weeks to regain my strength. He said if it’s still this bad after two weeks, there’s no way I’m allowing the Peace Corps to let you stay.” She was given exercises to strengthen her back and to cope with the pain. After the two weeks, her doctor gave her clearance to return. But the physical therapist in South Africa told Meg she would never be able to run again.

“When I got back to Katete I was in a lot of pain. I realized how much of my work depended on being physically able. I was the volunteer who did everything, hauled water, made bricks, rode my bike. And running everyday was my time. I’d go to bed at about 8:30. Every morning I would get up at 5:00 when the day started and go for a long run.”

(below: Meg in her back brace with kids outside her hut)

Fortunately, Meg’s mother Bev was planning a visit just at the time Meg returned to her village. “She spent 12 days in the village, and she was a real trooper. I had planned things to do for her, but the accident meant I couldn’t and there were things she couldn’t do it either, liking making the fire. But it was really great having her there.”

On her road to recovery, Meg had to learn how to put running back in her life. “I started going for long walks in the bush after doing my morning physical therapy. I had to figure out how to have new expectations while still pushing myself. I had to start all over again, jogging just a half mile and building back up.”

And though the school building was complete, there was still lot of work to do. “I was still working three days a week with this HIV organization in town, made up entirely of volunteers who are HIV positive. We would go out to different communities to do training, education, and bring meds. Area 1 where I was working had one of the highest rates of HIV. Being at the intersection of two major roads, we got a lot of truckers and a lot of prostitution.”

After her official two-year Peace Corps term came to a close, Meg chose to extend her stay another year, working for a non-governmental organization in Lusaka. “Zambia has the highest retention of volunteers of any Peace Corps country and the highest extension rate. I think it’s because of the people of Zambia -- people are just -- they make you their family. They are so friendly it’s easy to feel like you’re at home.

“I wasn’t ready to go, I still loved Zambia. I wanted to learn a different side of things, from a national level. I worked for an organization called Reaching HIV AIDS Affected People with Integrated Development and Support (RAPIDS). They had an integrated approach, which included income generating activities.” She helped the group provide training in gender based violence, nutrition and malaria. “People who are HIV positive have a much higher susceptibility to malaria because their immune systems are already lowered. It’s a lot harder for them to fight it.”

In this new position she suddenly had weekends, which she spent going back to her village. In her third year, she got more funding for the school, allowing them to build desks. The chicken house was finished, and they were now able to pay the teacher. She was thrilled to see the impact the school had on the children. “All the kids from the village school that went to basic school passed grade one.”

(kids testing out their new desks at school)

And two years after her accident, Meg ran the Victoria Falls half marathon in Zimbabwe.

Now that Meg is back in the States, talking to me in a coffee shop at the intersection of several busy arterials, she seems oblivious to the incongruity of the two places she considers home – Seattle and Katete.

She has plans to return someday to her village to build a new block to her school to teach another grade. “I would like to be able to start an organization eventually in Zambia. I understand now how interconnected everything is. I’d like to train recent high school graduates to teach, to give them something more to do with their education. Another thing I’d be interested in -- creating more places for people to sell their amazing crafts. The income really does make a big difference.”

To fill the piece that potential employers find missing in her impressive young resume, Meg is busy submitting applications to schools to earn a Master’s in Public Health. She’s also applying, unsuccessfully so far, for work, preferably in her field so she can learn more skills to carry back with her to Africa. “It’s really difficult -- everybody’s having a tough time now. I did something that I was passionate about for the last three years and it’s hard to come back to see a lot of people competing for jobs.

(right: Meg on left with friends after completing half-marathon)

“I couldn’t foresee not going back -- that’s harder to grasp than how I’m going to put all the pieces together to get there. I really do feel as if it is home.”

And when she is living that life, what does she miss about this one? Not the lattes, like the one she just finished. “I really wish I had been here when Obama got elected. When my brother got engaged I wished I was here. It was really hard when my grandma was sick, and not being here to help.

“That’s what you realize when you live abroad. You have a life in two places and there are big life things you’re not there for -- sickness and happiness. I feel the same thing with Zambia --- when I get updates on how things are changing, how the kids are doing or that a shop has changed. I miss it.”

Her advice for someone considering the Peace Corps? “I 110% recommend doing it. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s an adventure – go into with an open heart and open mind and it’ll be great. Trust yourself. You’ll learn so much more than you’ll ever be able to give -- it’s a really big gift.”

- Janet Pelz

Meg’s not-so Secrets for How She Does It:

• I think my stubbornness gives me the ability to not give up. When the going gets tough I tend to just put my head down to power through it.
• There's not a lot that can't be solved by hard work and a dedication to what you're doing.
• Play with kids, they keep everything in perspective.
• Listen to other people and pay attention. Sometimes I feel there are very few people these days that truly listen to what other people are saying. You can learn a lot just by listening.
• Learn to laugh at yourself and don't take yourself too seriously. I'm a big dork at heart and I embrace that.
• Surround yourself with people that make you happy and challenge you, life is too short to deal with drama or bad friends. I am very blessed to have a family and some close friends that encourage me and believe in me.
• Take care of yourself and try not to feel guilty for doing so. I'm still working on this, but when I make time for myself whether it's working out or for art I am better able to serve others.
• Music gives me such a release, as does dancing.

What books has Meg read recently?

• Mountains Beyond Mountains, by Tracy Kidder
• An Imperfect Offering: Humanitarian Action in the Twenty-first Century by James Orbinski;
• What is the What by Dave Eggers

Whom does Meg want me to interview next?

• Sara Young: amazing artist and entrepreneur that uses her art to conduct social experiments that make us question ourselves and the world around us. Recently she has created her own business using art to try to provide chiropractors with realistic examples to better serve patients.

• Jennifer Dyson: She served with me in Peace Corps Zambia but was medically separated when she learned she had cancer. She is not only a survivor of lymphoma but is now an activist and devotes herself to raising money for others with the disease

(Look for a description of Meg’s typical day in Zambia as the next post)

How Do You Do It? – Follow a passion and volunteer

My last story about Stephanie Ellis-Smith told us what opportunities may be waiting when we follow our passion. Stephanie took that terrifying step of putting her profession, and all that it brought (identity, status, security) -- behind in order to pursue something different – what it was, she didn’t yet know. Her new world opened up eventually through volunteering but first, she had to be willing to walk away from all that was familiar.

How have you done it?

Do you have an experience to share of pursuing a passion? What did you do, and where did it lead you? How about a volunteer pursuit? Do you have advice to share about where to go to find fulfilling volunteer opportunities, or how to shape your volunteer experience to get the most from it?

Click the comment button below this post and share your experience and ideas. There may be someone reading this who is looking for your guidance.

In my next stories, I write about women whose lives changed, not because they pursued an opportunity but because of an unexpected event that they were challenged to meet. Look for these, coming soon.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for leaving your ideas on How Does She Do It?

- Janet Pelz

 

   My husband Bob and daughter Casey take the plunge, in an icy stream