“I want people to know I’m just not a diagnosis.”
When Melissa isn’t struggling with some activity that she once could do while spinning a basketball on a fingertip, Melissa is the Melissa she’s always been. “I want to be viewed as strong, emotionally and physically; compassionate, empathetic and loyal.” And a really good basketball player.
Melissa Erickson came to the University of Washington with the first recruiting class of coach June Daugherty. After a strong career at her Colorado high school and an even more impressive traveling AAU team, Melissa had four universities interested in her. “I remember walking into Hec Ed and thinking, wow, this is so cool!” It was her first recruiting visit, but “as soon as I came home I committed to the UW.”
It’s a decision she’s never regretted, even during her junior year season when the team hit the skids. But their fortunes turned around in senior year and despite Mo’s (that’s what Melissa goes by with her teammates) ACL injury, which sidelined her for the end of the season, she was right in there cheering her team on to a PAC-10 title.
After playing four years at UW, Melissa tried her hand at coaching. She picked up a couple gigs, her first year at a small school in Louisiana, which taught her more about the reality of race relations in the south than it did about basketball. Happy to leave behind the Confederate flags, she took another graduate coaching job at UNLV in Las Vegas.
But she just couldn’t shake the urge. That itch to be out on the floor making the plays rather than calling them from the bench. So she pursued an agent, who landed her on a team in Krefeld, Germany, and in the fall of ’02 she went to Europe for the first time. “I loved it. It was exactly what I wanted to do. It was just a blast. I didn’t get paid very much. I basically got paid to travel and experience the culture.” And, what could be better? Paid to play basketball.
After the season in Europe she returned to the States and got a job working at Echo Glen, the state’s juvenile rehab center, in the drug and alcohol unit. “I really enjoyed it and felt I had found my niche. I’ve always wanted to help people who are less fortunate, and had been intrigued with at-risk youth.”
Soon autumn was coming and with it the migration back to Europe for women still playing. A friend of Mo’s was playing in Portugal and she was invited there for a trial and then made the team.
“Around then I started feeling that my body was kind of different. At the try-out I just figured I was out of shape. I remember not being able to get off the ground, and my balance was really off. But I played through it. I lost weight and got in better shape, but my deficiencies continued and began to get pretty evident. So I started to work out harder. I just figured that whatever was wrong with me could be overcome with getting stronger. That’s how athletes work, right? Well, obviously, that didn’t happen.”
Muscle weakness is a hallmark initial sign in ALS (also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease), occurring in approximately 60% of patients. Early symptoms vary with each individual, but usually include tripping, dropping things, abnormal fatigue of the arms and/or legs, slurred speech, muscle cramps and twitches and/or uncontrollable periods of laughing or crying.
In September of 2005 she started going to doctors to figure out what was going on. She remembers the date, September 18, when she got the initial diagnosis that “it was a motor neuron disease of some kind but the doctors didn’t know what.”
The process was frustrating. At first doctors thought it was a pinched nerve that could be cured easily with surgery. Melissa’s biggest concern at the time was how she would be able to take time off from work since she hadn’t yet accumulated sick time. “Man, if only it was that easy!
“With ALS there’s no blood test, nothing that says for certain, this is what you have. So the doctors kept coming back with what it wasn’t – it wasn’t cancer, it wasn’t MS. While I was happy that those were cancelled out I kept wondering, but what is it?”
Melissa was referred to the regional specialist at Virginia Mason, Dr. Ravits, who continues as her neurologist. (Melissa has nothing but praise for him. “He’s overflowing in compassion. He immerses his life in finding a cure and a treatment.”) Ravits takes on patients “that are a little different than the normal ALS.” Melissa’s young age, 26, and gender put her squarely in the column of ‘different.’
Most people who develop ALS are between the ages of 40 and 70, with an average age of 55 at the time of diagnosis. ALS is 20% more common in men than in women.
By Thanksgiving the diagnosis was confirmed.
When her doctor told her, he waited for a sign of understanding from Melissa. “I didn’t know what it was. I had heard of both ALS and Lou Gehrig’s disease and didn’t know they were the same thing. Even when they were saying it was a motor neuron disease, I didn’t know the gravity of that diagnosis.”
Understandably, the news hit hard, but with the conviction of an athlete she immediately focused on how to fix it. She tried alternative treatments “some of which were terrible and took my money and offered nothing; and others which offered, not a cure, but ways to treat it through dieting and other things.”
Fortunately, as the bad news came, Melissa’s friends and family stepped in. Her parents moved to Seattle from Colorado. Her girlfriend Jessica, who she started dating just a month after she was diagnosed, “has been there pretty much the whole way.”
(Melissa, right, with Jessica, left)
And then there were the teammates. Still getting her back, they started the Melissa Erickson Foundation to raise funds to help Mo manage the costs of the disease. www.melissaerickson.org
The dollars raised “are for anything I need. A trip to see friends, a bed that will be more comfortable, anything that helps me. I am surrounded by just, the most amazing people. My words can’t do justice to how awesome they are.”
In his famous retirement speech, Lou Gehrig told the crowd: “I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. Look at these grand men. Which of you wouldn’t consider it the highlight of his career just to associate with them for even one day?”
Listening to Mo, I quickly understand that her teammates provide more than monetary support. They sustain the link to the Melissa inside, the one a stranger can’t see. To them, Mo is still Mo, the one who had their back on the floor and who might have snapped them with a towel in the locker room after the game.
“Melissa was a 6’2 reserve small forward who could hit the 3 and bang with the best of them. She was an enforcer who wore a goofy white headband back when no other white girls were wearing white headbands. She was different. Melissa never met a sprint that she liked and enjoyed partying far more than studying. I was a young and energetic first year D1 assistant coach and I was gung ho about class checks, discipline and following the rules. As you can imagine, I was Melissa’s worst nightmare and she was my biggest challenge. That might be why I loved her so much.”
- Shimmy Gray-Miller, Head Coach St. Louis University women’s basketball, former UW assistant coach. Read her full story about Melissa here: http://www.coachshimmy.com/blog.html
“ALS is kind of a funny disease because you lose parts of yourself gradually,” says Melissa growing quiet.
Until now our interview has reviewed a chronological progression from the University of Washington to where we sit today, Melissa in her electric wheelchair and I at her kitchen counter. It’s the first time we’ve met, but the conversation has flowed easily like two friends catching up after a long time apart.
She takes a moment to resist the tears that come despite her effort to hold them back. “I’m trying to get good at this so I don’t cry every time,” she explains, as if her left-handed hook has been eluding her.
“I mourn, I mourn the loss of basketball and the athlete. But even when that was gone, I still had so much more, I still walked and could do everything else. And then you lose walking and you mourn that and then you lose the ability to sit up and you mourn that. It’s like a never ending grief/acceptance, grief/acceptance cycle. And I think that’s the hardest part of living with this disease. I continuously say, if it just stops here I’ll be fine, but obviously it didn’t really listen to what I wanted.”
No, what Melissa wants is not part of the ALS agenda. So, like any good basketball player, she’s working on her defense.
Her basketball career and the incredible friends she made help sustain Melissa physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Even today, while she’s trying to get comfortable in the wheelchair she has relied on for the past two years, I can see in her smile that the feeling of running the floor is not far away.
Melissa is living her life everyday with strength, optimism, and humility. Though memory is leaking from her muscles it is still strong in her spirit -- memories of the adrenaline rush from a game, and the camaraderie of teammates afterwards, win or lose, on the court or off.
Basketball is that drug her doctor can’t prescribe, and it may be the thing that is most effective in her struggle against this insidious disease.
(Mo with her white headband at left)
Mo’s not-so secrets for How She Does It?
- “I surround myself with close friends and family.”
- Healthy denial – she doesn’t descend into interminable Google searches about the disease.
- Vodka – it’s part of the denial part but also important to being able to let loose and have fun
- “I try to view myself as normal as much as possible. I’m pretty independent and stubborn, which helps get me through my daily life with ALS.”
What books has Melissa read recently? In a book group now, she’s “super into reading recently.”
- Water for Elephants (“love it!”), by Sara Gruen
- Little Bee (“I recommend!” Amazon Best of the Month 2/09: “… braids the fates of a 16-year-old Nigerian orphan who calls herself Little Bee, and a well-off British couple”), by Chris Cleave
- Say You’re One of Them (“tells of the horrors faced by young people throughout Africa”) by Uwem Akpan
- and Mo’s confession, The Twilight Series, by Stephanie Meyer
Whom does Melissa want me to interview next?
- Sonya Elliott, a fashion model, basketball player, and designer. Check her out at Peace, Love, Basketball www.peacelovebasketball.com . 50% of their March profits go to the Melissa Erickson Foundation. “Sonya’s is a story of huge tragedy, which she’s come out with so much grace.”
What Can You Do to Support Melissa?
- Make a Pay Pal contribution on www.melissaerickson.org
- Buy a cool t-shirt this month at www.peacelovebasketball.com
- Stop by Jabu’s Pub, near Seattle Center, and enjoy one of two drinks named in Melissa’s honor: the Motini and the Motail. $1.00 from each drink will go to the Melissa Erickson foundation http://jabuspub.com/Home_Page.php
- Let Melissa and all of us know how her life and story has made an impact on you by leaving a comment by clicking the link below.
- Janet Pelz
You are an inspiration to all of us who are struggling to understand this disease, figure out what causes it and fight to keep others from developing it. Godspeed to you and your family. May the spring bring you restoration and renewal and the comfort of dear friends old and new.
Posted by: Devra Davis | 04/05/2010 at 10:16 PM
Linda: How great to re-connect with you through cyberspace. (I rode a roller coaster last week and thought of you!) I'm thrilled you discovered -- somehow? -- my blog and that you are enjoying the stories. Soon I'll post a photo of four Pelz family members wearing peace.love.basketball t-shirts in honor of Melissa. Keep reading and keep writing your comments.
Posted by: Janet Pelz | 04/05/2010 at 02:32 PM
Janet,
Just caught up today with several of the interviews you have recently done...well done, well done! Not to mention your piece in the Seattle Times. All have touched me in a different way and for different reasons. I bought a t-shirt for Annie to wear with pride and hope others do the same after reading your story about Melissa!
Thanks!
Posted by: Jody Schlachter | 04/01/2010 at 11:51 AM
Inspiring story. Thank you for sharing it Janet. I am a fan of Sonya's who lives in West Seattle and bought one of her T-shirts. I will look for other ways to support Melissa. Her story makes me appreciate my health, how lucky I am!
I hope you are well Janet and I really appreciated your opinion column in the Seattle Times about SPS school funding too. It's been truly discouraging to see the lack of support for public education and the impossible choices being made during the school budgeting process.
Posted by: Linda Filley Bentler | 03/29/2010 at 05:05 PM
Jill -- thanks for the info about the FUNraiser for Melissa. I'll try to do a separate post on that this week. And thanks for reading and sharing your heartfelt reactions. Melissa is indeed a force.
Posted by: Janet Pelz | 03/22/2010 at 10:07 PM
Mo, I am forever inspired by the strength you have shown during such adversity and I am so proud of you. Janet, thank you for sharing Melissa's story and so eloquently describing the amazing woman she is.
Julie mentioned the Pub Crawl, and there is also another super fun FUNdraiser coming up. There is a benefit comedy show at Laughs in Kirkland on Sunday, March 28th at 6 pm. You can buy tickets online at www.laughscomedy.com
It will be a light-hearted night to support Melissa, eat great food and laugh your cares away. Brad Upton is a local and established comedian who generously offered to put on the benefit show after only hearing about Melissa's story. Thanks, Brad!
Posted by: Jill Marlow | 03/22/2010 at 08:20 PM
Nothing but an inspiration. A brave and determined woman. Someone so selfless and caring of others. Couldn't ask for a better Husky Alumni to look up to when coming into the UW women's basketball program. Though I never played with Mo (aside from a few open gyms here and there) she was easy to talk to and fun to be around. This easy going and fun demeanor enabled me to develop a fast a friendship with her. A friendship we still have to this day. I love you Mo!
Bre
Posted by: bredub3 | 03/22/2010 at 05:39 PM
Melissa -- you are amazing. Thank you for sharing your story.
JP -- It is an honor to read about the sacred stuggles many of your "How Does She Do It?" gals address as a matter of course in their day-to-day. Your writing style at the moment you capture their personality and spirit is executed with such a right choice of words that I (or any reader) can partake of the experience and yet somehow NOT feel small in my own world. Rather, I am freed to experience my own life afresh. I read feeling encouraged in my own challenges, both humbled and strengthened to tackle my own work at hand. I think that, sometimes as women, we tend to belittle the mountains we must climb by shrugging them off as "no big deal" or with an "anyone could do this" attitude, and perhaps at some level that is a good and true survival mechanism, but on the other hand, I do think it is right to call a mountain just that -- a mountain -- and not a rise or hill. Naming the road ahead or travelled for what it is or was empowers us. Through your eyes, words, and effort, JP, the stories of many an unsung heroine finds voice and a larger community she might not know she has, which makes all of us able to be present in our days with a little more weight and glory.
Posted by: Emily G | 03/16/2010 at 09:46 PM
Wow. I know the woman and your words moved me to tears as if I was hearing her story for the first time all over again. I have updated my own team on Mo’s plight over the last 4 years and I will use your blog in our team meeting tomorrow. Thank you for writing about her and giving the world another opportunity to be inspired by her story as well as support her foundation. I, for one, didn’t know about the clothing line so I will be purchasing a t shirt today.
Thank you for forwarding this on to me Janet. I will also now bookmark your blog. Well done. Janet
Shimmy Gray-Miller
Posted by: Shimmy Gray-Miller | 03/16/2010 at 06:42 PM
Wow, ladies....thank you so much for your inspirational words. Pam, great to see you and everyone at the alumni game. Julie, I hope to see you around soon. It seems like we always run into each other in the summer so by the looks of today's weather, that should be soon. =)
Posted by: Melissa Erickson | 03/15/2010 at 07:01 PM
Of course as a UW Husky BBall player, why wouldn't she be awesome! :)
I don't know Mo too well, but all you have to do is watch the people that surround her and feel the energy and love that exude from the relationships she has formed to know she IS special.
Melissa's fight against ALS is a story that inspires hope, love, and perseverance. She helps remind me to pay attention to the most important things in life...friends, family, and faith.
We're with you in this fight Melissa! You are never alone.
Pam Banks
UW Hoops Alum 1981
Posted by: Pam Banks | 03/15/2010 at 07:56 AM
I was an assistant volleyball coach at the UW when I first noticed Mo. I don't remember if we formally met but I didn't have to know her well to tell she was a special gal. She is the player that every school, college, or university has that is close with her own team but also manages to cross the, sometimes tight borders of other teams and create a link and that special camaraderie between teams. Back then I saw her interact with fans and noticed how gracious and humble she was.
In the last year or so I learned about Mo's battle with ALS. A teammate of Mo's told me about a fundraiser that my partner and I went to, the Pub Crawl, which is now becoming an annual fundraiser and the most fun fundraiser I've ever been a part of...if you like beer and good people... I think you can learn more about it by going to the link in Janet's article. I'd encourage anyone to join the fun, beautiful, and needed support from friends, family and strangers at this fundraiser! Mo, you have touched and inspired more people than you know by just being you.
Go Mo! & Go Huskies!
Posted by: Julie Baker | 03/14/2010 at 10:24 AM