“It’s time.”
My father had heard these words from his wife of more than 50 years five times before, but was pretty sure that this time they didn’t portend the arrival of a new bundle of love.
“For what?”
“To go.”
Two words delivered over the kitchen table, not as a death threat or a prison sentence, just a statement of fact. Just a recognition that the house and yard that had raised five energetic children and hosted more than its share of slumber parties, snow ball fights and college kids crashing for anti-war marches, was too big for just two.
That was my mother, Kelly Pelz, who uttered those words, and my father Dick who nodded in agreement.
As if the deconstruction of 54 years was as easy.
Saying goodbye to the hundreds (thousands?) of friends they had brought into their community, to move 3,000 miles away to a place they hadn’t lived in for more than a lifetime. At the spry age of about 80 the two of them packed up their belongings, sold their house and moved from the D.C. suburbs to a Wallingford apartment rental. By themselves.
The physical displacement was just the first step.
My mother unknotted the ties that bound her to the home she loved. Through her never-ending neighborhood potlucks, Democratic Party political organizing, and board terms with the local low-income housing authority, word on the street was “everyone knows Kelly Pelz.”
But Kelly found out that creating community is a transferable skill. It starts with taking up conversation with just about anyone. Pressing a little bit, she’ll learn what’s needed, and what she can do, to help.
“I think it was easier for me to move here from across the country than it has been for many of my neighbors to move here from across town. Their old connections keep pulling them back.”
Kelly Pelz standing in front of a portrait of her grandmother, painted by her uncle Fred
Here to Kelly and Dick is Horizon House, http://www.horizonhouse.org/a senior community of about 500 on First Hill in Seattle. “It’s close to everything. I don’t have to drive or to rely on anyone to get me anywhere. I walk to my wonderful doctor. We go frequently to Town Hall for lectures and concerts. And we can take the #2 bus for just a quarter to get to the Symphony, Seattle Center, everything!”
So, from knowing almost no one when she arrived a bit over three years ago, she can’t walk more than a few steps through the lobby without someone stopping to thank her for the cookies she baked, or confirm she’s coming to the Halloween Party planners’ reception, or to the Peace Action meeting that night.
And she’s busy far beyond the walls of her retirement community. She organizes fellow residents to prepare hot lunches and socialize with the residents of Plymouth Housing’s Langdon and Anne Simons House, a place where formerly homeless, drug addicted, and mentally ill seniors call home. You see, to Kelly, community isn’t just building a network of friends to play bridge with (though she does that). It’s spreading the connection to those who, after many years surviving on the streets, have lost the basic skill of social conversation.
“Sometimes the residents don’t even talk. Or sometimes one will go on about people who keep stealing his things and how he’s going to shoot them. We just listen. It’s important that they have someone who will listen.”
On other days, Kelly is delivering a home-baked casserole and toiletries to the women at the Church of Mary Magdalene, a day shelter for homeless women and their children in downtown Seattle. “I collect socks – these women are on their feet all day long. We wash their feet, we feed them a warm meal. The need is so great.”
Kelly spoke to the homeless woman in front of Bartells the other day to make sure she knew of Mary Magdalene. She never misses the opportunity to include one more person in her widening community.
Kelly’s (not-so) secrets – how does she do it?:
- Stay active: fill your days with meaningful work, art, culture and politics, and all sorts of people, especially those who inspire and teach you
- Always recognize and appreciate your blessings and share them with others
Kelly’s recommendations for local organizations serving the homeless:
- Plymouth Housing: http://www.plymouthhousing.org
- Church of Mary Magdalene: http://www.churchofmarymagdalene.org/faqs.htm
What’s on Kelly’s bookshelf these days?
- The Agony and the Ecstasy (a biographical novel of Michelangelo) by Irving Stone
- The Life of Pi, by Yan Martel
How delightful to read about your mom and dad and to be able to SEE a photo of Kelly!!!
Since Kelly and Dick only recently moved to the Seattle area, there may be many who don't know that they REALLY are the amazing people Janet described.
I know this firsthand, though from a perspective of long ago.
So to you, dear Kelly and Dick, I want you to know how much love and caring you brought to my life. I could not appreciate it at the time, being a wild teenager of the 70's (and of course knowing it all). In the dysfunctional life that was my family, you were an anchor when I needed it most, but recognized it least.
Janet and I will turn another year older in a couple of weeks (yes, I still remember that our birthdays are only days apart). We are 50 somethings! Rock on!
Although some 35-40 years have passed since we have had any contact, I can honestly tell you that I thought of you so often- ALL of you! Thank you, all, for having been a special, woven thread of my life's tapestry.
Much love- Laura
Posted by: Laura Olsen | 01/25/2010 at 09:23 AM