How Does She Do It?

Emily Litella

- Janet Pelz

Never mind.

I had hoped to post a two-part story of Sister Charlayne Brown, SNJM, following four interviews and a great deal of writing. Alas, at the last minute, Sister Char just wasn’t able to do it. She didn’t feel comfortable having a story about her life accessible to anyone and everyone on the internet. So we pulled the plug.

Yes, I’m disappointed, but it would be far worse for all involved if the story was posted and then she had misgivings.

In the process of researching for her story, I did come upon a great deal of information that speaks to the changing role of nuns in today’s American Catholic Church. Following a brief introduction of Sister Char, there follow two profiles of interesting Sisters from Charlayne’s congregation. And following these, some perspective on the Vatican’s recent crackdown on the LWCR (Leadership Conference of Women Religious).

I may try to find another Sister to write about. But in the meantime, I welcome your suggestions of other women whose stories should be told. Please send me your ideas in the comment box that follows this article.

 

My friend, Sister Charlayne Brown

It has been years since Sister Charlyne Brown, SNJM, stood at her father’s hospital bed dressed in her habit made of “yards and yards of black wool serge. In Hawaii. It’s hot there!” In the many years since that day, more than her habit has changed. The Church itself has swung like a pendulum, back and forth from before and after Vatican II. So has the meaning to her of the vows she took, 46 years ago, providing more significance to the terms of Poverty, Chastity and Obedience.

Today at age 71, her black habit and coif have been replaced with a comfortable sweat suit and sneakers -- the unofficial “uniform” of many students at Holy Names Academy high school where Sister Char works part-time as Service Coordinator and Assistant for Campus Ministries.

The oldest, continuously operating school in Washington State, Holy Names Academy has been educating young women for 132 years in the tradition of Sister Mary Rose DuRocheur, who founded the congregation in Montreal in 1844. In addition to its ongoing mission of education for women and girls are the core values of the Sisters of the Holy Names of Jesus and Mary (SNJM), which include dedication to justice, and service to people who are poor and marginalized.

Stories of two SNJM Sisters:

Meet Janet Walton, SNJM

Professor of Worship, Union Theological Seminary, NYC

For me, making the decision to join the SNJM community—and staying here for over 50 years, is all about making 'connections.'

My connection to the community is driven by deep friendships —and my commitment to social justice. The community helps me live as justly as I can in this world, and makes it possible for me to become involved in important world issues. That's why, for example, I participate in the Congregational Justice and Peace Committee. The committee makes recommendations about how we can become involved in actions intended to create a more just world. To date, the committee has focused on the Congregation's corporate stands: anti-trafficking and water as a basic human right. We are currently developing a recommendation around immigration issues.

'For Sisters of the Holy Names, teaching is about more than running good schools—it's also about training students to be good citizens of the world.'

I am a grad school teacher, but I also work on the streets and on the margins of society. My students at Union Theological Seminary started a program in the 1980s called Bridges, which connected the wealthy population of Summit, NJ, with the homeless population of New York City. I went out with them on this work. Our goal was not just to bring food and clothes, but to get to know them as human beings. The people who live in boxes are my teachers, too.

Meet Lois MacGillivray, SNJM

"The Sisters of the Holy Names stood out. They were always their own unique selves—funny, wise, and full of faith."

Of course, my teachers at Ramona gave me more than lessons—they gave me the gift of themselves. In an era of 'cookie-cutter' Sisters, the Sisters of the Holy Names stood out. They were always their unique selves—funny, wise, and full of faith. Even back then when relationships were so structured, Holy Names Sisters were their own human, beautiful selves—that's what made them so attractive to me and other students. They knew how to be totally present to their students, so that even when they wore habits they seemed approachable.

One day when I was a freshman doing my homework, it came to me that God was calling me to be a Sister. I thought about other communities, but the Holy Names Sisters were the ones that I knew and admired. And, since I knew they were great teachers—and that's what I wanted to be—the SNJM community was a perfect fit for me. So, one step after another, I worked my way to my senior year, and asked if I could enter. I graduated in June and entered the community in July at Los Gatos.

In 1967, our Provincial Superior, Sr. William Marie, called me in to her office and told me that I was going to graduate school to prepare for a life of applied research. At the time, she and other members of the Conference of Major Superiors of Women (a forerunner of LCWR) were engaged in conversations about how secular social science publications were critical of religion as an obstacle to human development. Since not many Sisters were working in social science, I was intentionally prepared to contribute to the conversation.

My early work was for the National Science Foundation, studying the effectiveness of municipal services in U.S. cities during the "stagflation" of the 1970s. The research institute I worked for also initiated economic and social development projects and I helped to administer those in Africa. I returned to California to become president of Holy Names College (now University) in 1982 and co-led the educational development component of the University-Metropolitan Forum to improve the economic prospects of the City of Oakland.

In the last five years, I have been a member of a research team assessing the effectiveness of programs to prepare children from birth to five for school, preparing schools to be ready for children who are fragile learners, supporting horizontal philanthropy (the ways that poor communities take care of each other), reducing childhood obesity and reducing recidivism among NC juvenile offenders.

Much has changed since I entered the community. The more relaxed, less formal manner that initially attracted me to the Sisters of the Holy Names—has become more pronounced and acceptable. I'm very proud of the ministry work our Sisters do. They've always been thoughtful and prepared. They take their work seriously, but they don't take themselves too seriously.

(The two stories above were taken from the web site Sisters of the Holy Names of Jesus and Mary, U.S.- Ontario Province).

Leadership Conference of Women Religious and the Vatican

The previous Pope, Pope, Benedict XVI, issued a Doctrinal Assessment against American’s 57,000 Catholic Nuns, represented by the LCWR (Leadership Conference of Women Religious).

While recognizing the valuable contributions of Sisters to the Catholic Church, the Doctrinal Assessment takes issue with the organization for statements made by individual nuns that were not renounced by LCWR. It additionally criticizes “LCWR Officers, protesting the Holy See’s actions regarding the question of women’s ordination and of a correct pastoral approach to ministry to homosexual persons.” In addition, “The Cardinal noted a prevalence of certain radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith in some of the programs and presentations sponsored by the LCWR.”

Here’s an introduction to Sister Pat Farrell, head of the LCWR, written by David Gibson, Religion News Services, reprinted on Huffington Post’s Religion Page.

(Sister Pat Farrell in the parish of Cristo Obrero in Arica, Chile about 1984. RNS photo courtesy Sisters of St. Francis).

Though she is at the center of one of the biggest crises in the Catholic Church today, Sister Pat Farrell is loath to talk about herself, and certainly not in any way that would make her a focus of the looming showdown between the Vatican and American nuns.

To be sure, Farrell has spoken publicly and with quiet clarity about why the organization she heads, the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, rejects Rome's plans to take control of the umbrella group that represents most of the 57,000 nuns in the U.S.

In announcing its proposed takeover last April, the Vatican accused the nuns of embracing a "radical feminism" that questions church teachings and focuses too much on social justice causes. Farrell says the American sisters are simply doing what the gospel requires, often speaking on behalf of so many in the church who have no one else to advocate for them.

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Finally, if you need any more reasons to toss aside lingering memories of your strict knuckle-rapping elementary Catholic school teacher, here’s a moving tribute to the significance many nuns have in the lives of people today.

Let me know what’s on your mind.  Thanks.

- Janet

From Rome to Home

- Janet Pelz

With all the focus being given to the selection of a new pope – pundits handicapping the chances of various Cardinals like ponies at the starting gates – this seems like a good time to resurrect my web site. It has been living for quite some time in that black hole of spam. I spend so much time deleting scintillating comments at the end of my pieces with authors bearing names such as “Cheap Cialis at Home” and “Pornographic Online Casinos” that I haven’t had much energy – or time – to do any real writing.

While I haven’t been posting, I have been interviewing and interviewing. I hope to have a two-part piece posted soon, the result of many conversations with Sister Charlayne Brown, a woman who 46 years ago took her vows and joined the Sisters of the Holy Names. I figure if my web site attempts to tell the spectrum of women’s lives and the choices they make in leading them, then including a nun in the canon would be essential.

The Soeurs Nomees Jesus et Marie then…

It has been a wonderfully rewarding several months spent over many coffees getting to the point of writing Sister Char’s story. Naively I started this process thinking that someone who made a decision of that magnitude would be reflecting on it with regularity. But Sister or not, Charlayne is like many of the women I’ve written about – unaccustomed yet inspired by the opportunity to look back at the milestones in her life to see the connections. But living a life obedient to a higher calling, she has similarly been careful to keep our conversations within an acceptable boundary, a boundary I’m committed to respect. So the going has been more measured and has taken a good bit more time.

Hopefully I’ll have something up before too long. Sister Char and I look forward to reading your comments once it’s up. If you’re a subscriber to the site, you’ll get the post in your in-box. Saves the effort of scanning the horizon for white smoke.

….and the Sisters today.

Trying this again -- watch this before you vote!

- Janet Pelz

The technology gremlin undid my effort to post the Gloria Steinem message on why this election is so important particularly for women, so here's a second try. Paste the URL into your browser to connect to my site, where the video is accessible but for some reason is not being transmitted via feed. I promise you'll be glad you spent the 3 minutes watching.

www.howdoesshe.typepad.com

Vote! It's our best weapon in the war on women!

- Janet Pelz

Yes, my friends, it is time to awaken the beast.

The beast is me, this blog, in case the metaphor was wasted.

Using this platform for a last pitch to help get our President re-elected.

Could there be any more at stake? Sure, 4 years ago the issue was a war being fought overseas, and yes I had mighty strong opinions about that. This time, the war is being waged here, and women are caught in the crosshairs (or more accurately, the pubic hairs).

Ouch!

There are some great videos circulating the web, some of which will make you laugh.  But here’s one that I almost guarantee will bring tears to your eyes.

Gloria Steinem on the importance of this election.  Take 3 minutes to watch it. NOW.  And then pass it along, especially to women you know in Ohio, Florida, Virginia, Colorado and Nevada.  Those women will determine who wins this election, and this is a goldmine of information to influence their votes.

 

And as for “How Does She Do It?” – yes, I’ve taken a long break.  Somehow, the future of the free world has distracted me.  But I am in the process of interviewing and writing the story of a nun – a story that has taken more than the usual amount of time but has offered more than the usual amount of eye-opening.  Stay tuned.

In the meantime, let’s win this darn thing and start doing the work that is far more important to all of us.

Jen Gay and Elizabeth Klob of Cicada Bridal: Doing Traditional Women’s Work in a Non-Traditional Way

- Janet Pelz

Like the French bakery whose scent lures me with the promise of butter on the tongue, I’m drawn to Cicada Bridal to tease my fingers across the textures of raw silk and lace. Not to mention dreaming in the stunning designs and outrageously rich colors.

Starting the day at Cicada, 1121 1st Avenue Seattle 98121

I’ve been pulled in like this on several occasions since that magical day 15 years ago when I exited the dressing room in a lavender shantung silk column dress to see my friend Judy dialing her cell phone. “I’m calling Mario’s to tell them not to hold that other dress,” she said nodding at me, “because this is what you’re wearing for your wedding.”

It was an odd place to find a dress shop, on an upper floor of the old Rainier Office Tower, and one that I happened upon only because of an overwhelming need to pee and a memory of the public restroom hidden nearby. It seemed that much more fatalistic to have found this store, clock ticking the days away before my wedding -- way too soon for a future bride with any sense of decency.

I was rescued then by the artistry of Jennifer Gay and Elizabeth Klob, the pair that owns and manages Cicada Bridal as well as designing and sewing the unique pieces of art hanging on the racks where we now sit, in their current shop on First Avenue in downtown Seattle. 

As they will do throughout our interview, the two throw back their heads in laughter thinking back to that old location. “What were we thinking? Why would ANYbody open a dress shop there? It was huuuuuuge; it was like an indoor golf course. All the space you could ever wish for, but nobody could find us.”

Playing off each other they recreate some of the more outrageous stories from that phase of their career, including the time an employee took after a thief with a couple of their prized  gowns in a backpack.                                                                        Elizabeth (left) and Jen in the shop

Jen and Elizabeth were in the back of the store, where they spent much of their days at their sewing machines. “You would think half of the dresses would have been stolen,” says Jen laughing.

But as odd a location as that one was, it was at least bigger than their prior 1,200 square-foot shop they shared with the go-to designer for the city’s drag queen clientele. “There was a fire in that building,” says Jennifer thinking back. “A fire, but no flood -- there,” Elizabeth picks up. “We’ve been through fires and at least three floods in our current building. I’ve had our insurance on speed dial. It just happens when you’re a retail shop in an old building and you’re underneath condos with plumbing problems.”

Oh well, just one more obstacle -- rather, learning opportunity as they prefer to call them -- to push through. If they knew when they first met in the basement of Retro Viva, stitching up creations from whatever bolt of fabric awaited them in the morning, that they would journey together through so many misadventures to get where they are today.... OK, after talking with them for a couple hours I have to guess they would probably do it all over again.

“So many young women want to interview us to find out how we did it. Our friend Maggie called. She used to work for us and she’s opening a bridal store in Denver. ‘Oh my God!’, she said, ‘I think about you every single day! How did you do it?’ Here’s how -- we didn’t think about it!”, says Elizabeth, laughing.

“We are hard as nails,” declares Jennifer, seriously. “Yes, we are hard as nails, Elizabeth agrees. “We didn’t have time to think. All these people call us and ask how we did it -- It was really 90 percent balls and ignorance. Really!”

Jennifer can’t wait to agree. “Oh my God, not a day goes by that we don’t fuck something up and learn a valuable lesson.” This line gets them laughing in stereo. “We are crazy!” says Elizabeth, stating the obvious.

Crazy maybe, but after 18 years, also very successful at what they do: designing, sewing, and fitting the perfect dress for any special occasion, from holiday party or prom to wedding.

They met when Jen stopped by Retro Viva to sell some hats she had made. “The big drag queen who worked there was like, you gotta meet Elizabeth down in the basement! And he takes me down to this dank, crap-ass basement, not even a daylight basement, but a basement basement with concrete floors. There’s Elizabeth, working away all by herself down there, weren’t you?” She turns to Elizabeth who throws in a response from the reception desk where she’s attending to details, making it clear that the two are used to jumping seamlessly in and out of each other’s conversation.

Jen joined Elizabeth in the basement until the store owner realized she couldn’t make dresses for less than they cost coming from China, “so she very nicely said, “I don’t think we can do this anymore,” and we said, “well, how about we do it ourselves?

“One of the things that was helpful is that we weren’t friends first. We walked into the relationship like work associates. It was a totally clean slate, with no weird pre-history. I mean, we learned we could work in a basement eight hours a day without killing each other!” laughs Jen.

With a boost from the store owner, who rented them all the equipment at a reasonable rate, they started a wholesale line selling mostly through trade shows. Their showroom was in Georgia “because that’s where our rep was based,” explains Elizabeth. “We were just flying by the design seat of our pants.”

“It was a lot of work for just two people,” adds Jen, thinking back. “You’d get an order for a dozen shirts and you’d have to sit down and make a dozen shirts.”

After listening to them describe fabric shopping trips to the garment district in New York City and a business where items were made in Seattle and sold in Tennessee I asked for specifics, like how much time and money they were putting into those shirts, and how much they had to charge in order to pay themselves?

“Those are GREAT questions that we probably should have been asking ourselves!” answers Jen, laughing once again. “That’s when we realized, we didn’t have any trouble selling our garments,” adds Elizabeth. “We were selling them way too cheap!”

“But then we decided we didn’t really like doing wholesale -- it was kind of soul sucking,” Jen reflects. They were running into problems collecting. Some stores went out of business, others bounced checks. “That was really new to us, having to chase down money. And at the same time we were getting a lot of requests to do wedding dresses. The business kind of suggested itself to us. I think we had done about five or six wedding dresses before we decided to put a really small collection together.”

Jen and Elizabeth will both say that the essence of their job is to make each customer feel exceptionally beautiful. “The thing with wedding dresses, we get to buy really top quality fabrics,” says Jen, and it’s evident that behind that statement lies years of polyester and velour remnants. “Really high quality fabrics and we get to put a lot of time into a very special item.”

(right: Elizabeth describes a gown she particularly likes these days, noting the textures, layering of fabrics and asymmetric hem)

A student of acting, Elizabeth appreciates the dramatic quality of the wedding, with the gown the essential costume. “There are so few rituals left in our lives – I’ve always been drawn to the ritual of a wedding. A woman gets to transform herself as if she’s on stage.”

The two of them take seriously their role in making that transformation exactly what their clients want. Says Elizabeth, “If I were asked, What’s the biggest things that’s saved us? Customer service and really listening to our clients. In this business people are so emotional, there is so much at stake. We hear time and time again about bridal shops that are indifferent to their clients. We really, really take our relationships seriously.” And in return? “We get hugs, tears, thank you letters. For all the trials and tribulations of owning your own business, this really means a lot.”

Jen handles most of the customer service on the floor while Elizabeth does most of the custom work. They credit their solid work relationship to having discreet areas of responsibility “without getting in each other’s hair,” Elizabeth observes. “We used to fight a lot before we did that,” pipes Jen. “We’re both east coast girls, so we speak our minds; we don’t hold back. When something is wrong we get it out!”

There are many gorgeous choices on the floor but if someone is coming in for a specific style, Elizabeth will do a custom design. “I work a lot with full-figured women who can’t get something off the rack but who really want something to flatter them. When we first started out I was eager to please no matter what. And now I’ve gotten to a point where I will not do something that’s not going to look good on the person’s body. I ask them to trust me. Or they say, thank you very much I’ll go elsewhere. But that doesn’t happen too often.”

“She’s very good at looking at a ridiculous number of pictures and distilling them into one dress,” says Jen admiringly of her partner. “You’re really good at that.”

(left: Jen shows one of her favorite party dresses, hand-beaded in India.  One thing Jen loves about owning her own store – the ability to pursue new creative directions.  “Some work, some don’t” she admits).

Most of their bridal gowns range in price from $1000 - $1700 with a custom design starting at about $2000. Since the economic downturn they’ve added a less expensive line, more appropriate perhaps for a beach or destination wedding. And on the opposite side of the store is a fabulous variety of eclectic designs for special occasions. So even if you aren’t planning a wedding any time soon, there are dozens of reasons to consider a shopping trip – or sensory indulgence – to Cicada. Either Jen or Elizabeth is likely to be the one welcoming you into the shop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  (A bridal gown and evening dress in the Cicada collection.  To see more, visit their web site.  photos by Rathbone Images)

While they love their work, it’s not all that fills their lives. They both had children during the course of their partnership. “And we’re both really active, creative people outside of work,” says Jen earnestly. For her part, as you might expect of someone who spends her days sewing wedding gowns, she fills her non-work hours playing drums in local punk bands. She started on her son’s rejected miniature drum kit and still takes lessons at Seattle Drum School. “I love learning new things,” she effuses. Click here to listen to her “girl punk” band Minirex, for whom Jen designed the group’s costumes, of course. You can hear her keeping the beat in the sample songs there. Or you can find a youtube video of her playing with Witches Titties in a show with Alice Bag, whom Jen describes as Chicana Punk.

Having a teenage daughter at home with a penchant for reality shows, I had to ask about the impact to their business from shows like “Say Yes to the Dress.”

“I don’t have a television,” admits Elizabeth. Jen has seen the show once or twice when on the road. “Why would people bring so many people to their appointments? And everybody wants to have to have alcohol. We don’t allow that. They need to think about it sober -- we do not want any bubbly decisions that are regretted later.”

For her part, despite the craziness of the business, Elizabeth has nothing to regret. “I want someday to walk out of this and say, that was the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s still what I want to do – I love coming to work everyday and I’m not good working for someone else.”

(In the back of the store where the creations are made)

Jen and Elizabeth’s Not-So-Secrets for How They Do It?

• I’m not sure I’ve interviewed anyone who had an answer for this question as quickly and as categorically as Jen, who looked me straight in the eye and pronounced: “I don’t quit. Anything. I will do it until I’m the last person doing it. I will never give up. I never stop doing what I start doing. I will always be the last man standing. They say that 90 percent of success is showing up. I keep showing up.  It would never would occur to me to pull the plug.”
• And here’s probably the most important factor in their success – Elizabeth picked up precisely where Jen let go. “I personally don’t know when to say no. We never quit. Nobody has ever been backing us. We weren’t given any financial support to get started. It’s just us and two crazy credit cards.”
• And then of course, the two started laughing in stereo again.   Which suggests another key to their success – finding the humor in any situation.
• “Underlying everything is a huge amount of trust. This is paramount. Mistakes happen. We’ve been at it since the beginning and we’ve made every single mistake we could make. There is no escape. You’ve got to trust each other.”
• And as for the customer service end of the business? “You have to be really present and observe what’s going on. If I see some subtle thing on a client’s face coming out of the dressing room, I have to get to it right away.” Jen will often take the dress to the back of the store and make the alteration right then while her customer waits.

What has Jen read recently?

• Violence Girl: East L.A. Rage to Hollywood Stage. A Chicana Punk Story; by Alice Bag

“I mostly read biographies, non-fiction and brain science books.  I lost my appetite for fiction.”

Who should I interview next?

• A friend of Jen’s, who plays in the band, leads Ghost Tours of Pike Place Market and makes dolls.